My Deeper Why?

Why did I develop my new program, where I guide parents and music teachers of Autism Spectrum and ADHD children, to help them become excellent musically and personally, to bring cohesion between their brains and their bodies?

It goes back to my mom, things she did, how she protected me, and how she struggled.

When mom was a child, she grew up on a farm, and her family was very, very poor. She was born in 1928.

All children who lived where she lived, who were in kindergarten through eighth grade, attended a one room schoolhouse. When mom was in the first grade, she had a very cruel teacher.

For some reason he singled out my mom and whipped her every single time she made a mistake. My grandmother would keep her home from school the day following a whipping. She didn't know how else to advocate for her.

Finally, one day, my grandmother went with mom to school. She showed the teacher the welts on my mom from his whippings. He grinned as if he thought it was funny. He was a very sick man.

I think about how that impacted my mom, how it affected all her life. I knew she didn't feel smart. She didn't think much about her self. She carried a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear.

I give her a lot of credit. When I was getting ready to go into kindergarten, a powerful person in the school district tried to hold me back a year.

This person was the mom of my best friend. They lived next door. The mother decided there was something wrong with me. She told my mom I was behind everyone else my age, and I shouldn’t go to kindergarten until I was a year older.

I don't know why she thought there was something wrong with me, other than the fact that I just wouldn't talk to her, but then I didn't talk to adults.

My mom stood up to her. My friend’s mother was very determined to keep me out of school. My mom was even more determined I would go to school that fall.

The woman was in a position in the school district to get the district to start pre-kindergarten testing. And she did it that year because of me. At least that’s what mom told me.

I remember being taken to the school and going into this very dark room with a lot of tables, with different equipment on them. There were many people in the room. My mom took me to one station that looked very scary.

In my five year old mind everything felt complicated. I pulled back, screamed, and grabbed hold of mom. The woman at that station grabbed hold and yanked me out of the building telling my mom I couldn't finish the testing because there was something wrong with me, and I couldn't go to school.

My mom argued with her, and got me away from her, holding onto me. While she argued I started screaming and pulled on her to let me get back into the building. She realized that somehow I understood I needed to finish the testing. I was eventually allowed back in the building where I was able to complete the testing.

I had to do one more thing to prove I was ready. I think I might have been the only one who had to do it.

I had to sit with a kindergarten class of kids ready for first grade, a year older than me. I was taken there by another adult. I remember the teacher was reading a story and all the kids were sitting around on the floor listening to the story, and I was told to sit down next to some boys who then proceeded to make fun of me.

I was very shy and wanted to cry. Then this thought came to my head, “do not cry”. I didn't.

I got to go to kindergarten that fall.

I realized years later how my mom had stood her ground and fought for me. That took a lot of courage for her, especially considering all she went through in her early school years.

When I told her what happened in the classroom she said, “Oh, I’m so glad you didn’t cry. If you had, that would have been it. You would've been kept out a year.” She had been so worried that if it had happened, I would have gone through my entire life with a stigma that I was dumb.

I don’t know what got into my best friend’s mother’s head. I don't know if I had some undiagnosed disorder. But I seemed to have done fine in kindergarten.

I might have been just really, really shy, and that woman just thought she was good with children, and since I didn’t talk to her she believed there was something wrong with me.

This is one of the deeper reasons I want to help parents and teachers of Autism Spectrum and ADHD children. I want to help children who struggle as much and more than I did, and I want to help parents and teachers who have so much love for their children and students, and who see the potential that others don’t see.

I've also had many students in my studio who have struggled with Autism and ADHD and my heart goes out to them and their parents. I’m obsessed with continuing to learn all I can, so I can help parents and teachers unlock their children’s potential so they can live happier, more fulfilling lives.

If this resonates with you in any way, I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to comment below. Thank you!